I Made The Call

It is with a heavy heart I write this.... After much thought, prayer, consideration and medical consultation, I have withdrawn from Ironman Canada. It was one of the harder decisions of my life and I did not make it lightly. I wanted to talk about it here in case you are ever faced with a tough call on a race, or something even more important (although I really don't know what could be more important). As you know, I was racing in honor of 4 of my co-workers who are prostate cancer survivors racing for Team Newton and I was very honored to be invited to be part of the team by the Newton folks. One of the difficult factors was that I was racing to honor others, another factor was that I had been invited to be part of the team. Then, came the physical part. My hip is still swollen 35 days after my crash. My hip/leg is still numb. My ribs are not fully healed. I was looking at 3 more training weeks and then race weekend. While my base was in, to be able to get in two big rides with runs at a minimum would have been difficult. BUT still I was in. There is a BIG mental side to this game. BIG. It is about race execution, being smart, staying inside yourself, working your plan, execution. Many of you know that I write the word EXECUTE on one arm in permanent marker and BELIEVE on the other. It settles me when I find myself headed to an unavoidable dark spot. My mental side could not fathom that a relatively low speed bike wreck could ruin my Canadian quest. It wasn't a fast wreck. There wasn't much road rash at all. No infection. Just cracked ribs and a bruised hip with some nerve damage. A bruise. That's it. Nothing broken. Nothing fractured. Just bruised. So, this past week, I had to make a decision. In or Out. No one else's decision. Just mine. I did consult with medical professionals, fellow Ironman finishers, lay people, work associates, family and other friends but in the end I made the call. It was a very emotional day, I knew the decision, I didn't want to admit it. I knew what was right. I knew permanent damage could be the result. I also knew the high that I would not get this year. I knew the personal satisfaction fix would not occur in 2012. I knew I wouldn't hear the words - you know what they are. But I made the call. I am still bummed - I know, I know, I know - I did the right thing. So? Why still bummed. That's how good it is. That's how good it feels. That's what it means. It IS that big. I do want to add the positive side. Newton has assured me I will be included if they do a team next year. Those people are awesome. Also, I am looking at maybe doing TWO next year. Canada and Arizona - how about a double fix? I wonder what that will be like. I will be at IMAZ this year to volunteer and sign up - how about joining me? Come on - what's stopping you? See you at the finish line, Bryan